so then we work and work and work,
and for me i paint_ i paint_ i paint,
and more recently I have had a couple of shows,
therefore, I have been working extra mad.
so then
what?
comes from this.
you see now i am just in the wondering about it all phases.
i wonder about your experience after shows,
i think i might just lock myself in the closet for three years.
to me i think the best part of any show ___ is making the show,
then
after the show you have to just do nothing.
and now when i see the work i think it might be better of floating down the nearest river.
i am wondering to you.
and to all of you_
what are the up's and down of your work?
do you always love your work?
when are you most close to your work?
how does it feel when you stand in a room full of people looking at your work?
what does it mean if you sell your work?
what does it mean if you do not sell your work?
it order for me to ask these questions , i feel I should give you a little insight to the answers i have come upon.
first of all.
I hate showing my work, and when I am showing it, it is when i hate the work the most.
I love the work the most when it is in my studio.
just me and the work. then when it leaves, I feel I no longer have any connection with it.
sometimes people will say..
"i love your paintings"
and I am like ___ "paintings what paintings?"
as in I almost forget that they are mine hanging upon the walls.
.
anyway ___ is it work?
and why work?
you see too I have been thinking in the last months.
...
about the whole artist thing at all.
i suppose for about 7 years i was so driven by it.....
to make it
to show it
to sell it
and now i am just thinking ,
what the F *#K.
>
artist.
ugh.
could this just be the come down after a show.
I was told last week by some one I really trust,
that one could not be faking "being a painter"
if one loved it so much and lost track of time while doing it.
you see,
i work say 60 hours per week in my studio,
and i must say it might border on an obsession.
then
you
take
your
labor
of
loves
and put them into a public space and then you are left with nothing to work on.
it is like a big wave of water drying up mid-stream.
....
maybe it is like any other job...
and
then
you
nearly
collapse
after
months
and months
of work.
well the last thing i would like to say.
___the last thing I would like to wonder...
is this
do you feel that you have already moved past your "newest" work when it it finished.
in that_
you feel that you will make better and different works__whist you have the newest and freshest works right in front of you?
Just Curious KEllie
